Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Familiar conversation?

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said to my friend: "That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, dip-shit!"

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Do of the Day

"Mrs. T. Charlton Henry weighs a fragile, feminine ninety pounds, but moves through life like a Trojan.

On the third floor of her house, there are three rooms full of clothes racks, in which each ensemble hangs in its own wrapper, together with gloves, shoes and handbag, This enviable passion for organization structures her life - and inspires her friends."

Photography by Diane Arbus (14th March 1923 – 26th July 1971)

Thursday, 26 July 2012

A hell of a life

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Darling Lili

The Great Race

The Pink Panther movies

Victor Victoria
In 2004 Edwards received an honorary Oscar for his "extraordinary distinction in lifetime achievement".

Yet the director was philosophical about receiving the award. "I've had a hell of a life and can't do much better," he said. "So this is gravy."

Blake Edwards (26th July 1922 – 15th December 2010)

Friday, 20 July 2012

Showing Off

"It was just a bit of fun really. An excuse for another party. I held it in my first studio, a converted jigsaw factory in Downham Road, Hackney in London. My guests were asked to come in costumes they had designed and created themselves, each was to be judged on poise and personality - like the dogs who appear at Cruft's Dog Show! And I thought I would add an additional category; 'glamour' because the costumes had to be glamorous.

After finding an old half-and-half costume in a junk shop, I decided to act as both Host and Hostess, dressed in half male and half female attire. My good friends David Hockney and Robert Medley were the judges. Another friend, Jack Hazan, filmed the party and used a sequence as the party scene in his film about David Hockney, A Bigger Splash.

One of the guests, Fran Fullenweider, fell through the catwalk of orange boxes!

The winner was Patrick Steed as Miss Yorkshire, who shared with Garbo the desire, after a short but successful career, to seek obscurity.

In July of '72, I met my partner Michael Davis.Who I am still with!!!"
Andrew Logan, speaking about the first Alternative Miss World contest, which is 40 years old this year.

Brian Eno, Tim Curry, Zandra Rhodes, David Bowie, Molly Parkin, Duggie Fields, Richard O'Brien, Leigh Bowery, Derek Jarman, Julian Clary, David Hockney, Ruby Wax, Divine, Princess Julia, Grayson Perry, Johnny Woo, Steven Jones, Nick Rhodes... Participants, fans or supporters, all!

Rumours abound that there may well be some kind of "Alternative Olympics" event to mark the occasion but, as ever, these are unconfirmed...

The British Guide to Showing Off - a film documentary that charts the history of the Alternative Miss World contest.

Andrew Logan's Alternative Miss World website

Read my previous blog tribute to Mr Logan over at Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Sunday, 15 July 2012

"Oh, shit, good manners"

"The trouble with putting armour on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure."

[on Bette Davis] "I walked onto the set [of "All About Eve"] and there's Bette and I say 'Good Morning,' and she said, 'Oh, shit, good manners,' and I felt as if I'd been hit in the face with a wet flounder and I never spoke to her again. She called me a 'Bitch,' okay."

"All the producers I met were like Darryl F Zanuck — deeply humourless flesh-grabbers, who only understood about virgins and whores. If you happened to be neither, they went into a state of total confusion and didn’t know how to cast you."

Celeste Holm (29th April 1919 - 15th July 2012)

Read my recent tribute to the lady on her 95th birthday.


Saturday, 14 July 2012

I know all the Lupinos, I go to their beanos

Further to Thursday's blog, I couldn't resist posting more of the genius of Douglas Byng:

Sex Appeal Sarah

"When I went to the pictures to act,
I was quite a furore, as they say,
I appeared first as Carmen, but in fact
I was much more "bizarre" than "Bizet".
But the day came for filming the bullfight
I was just doing one of me stunts -
When the juvenile lead pinched me cast-o-nets
I went all hors de combat at once.
But I picked up a picador's spear,
Stabbed him in the bolero and spoilt his career.

I'm Sex-Appeal Sarah, my body gets barer
Each time I appear on the screen.
Oh, I've played such rare pranks with
dear Dougie Fairbanks
Reall risky - but never obscene.
I know all the Lupinos - I go to their beanos -
We start off with cocktails and end up with Enos;
I'm slick Sal, and when I was a gal
I was constant and clever and clean.
I was never de trop - I was pure as the snow -
But I drifted, and so - well, you know what I mean."

As featured on Naughty Nights with Douglas Byng

A favourite of Jessica Mitford, it seems - she chose it in her selection for Desert Island Discs

Thursday, 12 July 2012


Maud, Lady Beerbohm Tree

Douglas Byng

I have just finished reading the excellent Bawdy But British!: The Life of Douglas Byng by the late Patrick Newley.

Of the many hilarious stories Dougie Byng recalled in his long theatrical life, my favourite is this fabulously camp moment. Roy Hudd was in the audience at one of Dougie's last shows (he was on stage until he was 93!):
It was a marvellous evening. I remember in reply to one query, "Did you ever see Lady Beerbohm Tree?" Dougie replied "Yes, I saw her once at a charity matinee.

She walked on in a purple crinoline with purple ostrich feathers, a purple fan and elbow-length gloves, and wearing a diamond necklace, tiara and bracelet.

She picked up a kitchen chair, put it down-stage, sat on it and said to the audience, 'Now I want you to imagine I'm a plumber's mate!'"

Read Simon Callow's review of Bawdy But British!: The Life of Douglas Byng

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

I think the older I get the more creative I get

"I think the older I get the more creative I get, I don't have the distractions that I had when I was younger."

"I think i just have the energy, I'm a bit of an addict in a way."

"I don't enjoy being a celebrity, I don't want any part of that or any part of that fame for fame... I'd actually rather die than be a celebrity slime!"

"In the past i've put myself in situations just to inspire me, I do kind of like life."

Peter Mark Sinclair "Marc" Almond (b. 9th July 1957)

Marc's 55th birthday concert review.

My previous "exhibit" dedicated to Marc on his birthday last year.

Sunday, 8 July 2012

When I am old...

...I want to be her.

You really must visit dear Thombeau's new collection of vintage photos from Paris and Berlin.

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Nobody's fool, least of all yours

"Look closely, Eve. It's time you did. I am Addison DeWitt. I am nobody's fool, least of all yours. "

"I was beastly but never coarse. A high-class sort of heel."

"I never really thought I`d make the grade. And let`s face it, I haven`t."

"I don`t ask questions. I just take their money and use it for things that really interest me."

"The important thing for a star is to have an interesting face. He doesn`t have to move it very much. Editing and camerawork can always produce the desired illusion that a performance is being given."

George Sanders (3rd July 1906-25th April 1972)

"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."


Monday, 2 July 2012

Thought for the day

"If I say that your sense of style's as far as off as your youth;
It's simply that who else but a bosom buddy
Will tell you the whole stinkin' truth?"

Vera Charles, Mame