I know all the Lupinos, I go to their beanos

Further to Thursday's blog, I couldn't resist posting more of the genius of Douglas Byng:

Sex Appeal Sarah
[extract]

"When I went to the pictures to act,
I was quite a furore, as they say,
I appeared first as Carmen, but in fact
I was much more "bizarre" than "Bizet".
But the day came for filming the bullfight
I was just doing one of me stunts -
When the juvenile lead pinched me cast-o-nets
I went all hors de combat at once.
But I picked up a picador's spear,
Stabbed him in the bolero and spoilt his career.

I'm Sex-Appeal Sarah, my body gets barer
Each time I appear on the screen.
Oh, I've played such rare pranks with
dear Dougie Fairbanks
Reall risky - but never obscene.
I know all the Lupinos - I go to their beanos -
We start off with cocktails and end up with Enos;
I'm slick Sal, and when I was a gal
I was constant and clever and clean.
I was never de trop - I was pure as the snow -
But I drifted, and so - well, you know what I mean."

As featured on Naughty Nights with Douglas Byng

A favourite of Jessica Mitford, it seems - she chose it in her selection for Desert Island Discs

Imagine...

Maud, Lady Beerbohm Tree


Douglas Byng

I have just finished reading the excellent Bawdy But British!: The Life of Douglas Byng by the late Patrick Newley.

Of the many hilarious stories Dougie Byng recalled in his long theatrical life, my favourite is this fabulously camp moment. Roy Hudd was in the audience at one of Dougie's last shows (he was on stage until he was 93!):

It was a marvellous evening. I remember in reply to one query, "Did you ever see Lady Beerbohm Tree?" Dougie replied "Yes, I saw her once at a charity matinee.

She walked on in a purple crinoline with purple ostrich feathers, a purple fan and elbow-length gloves, and wearing a diamond necklace, tiara and bracelet.

She picked up a kitchen chair, put it down-stage, sat on it and said to the audience, 'Now I want you to imagine I'm a plumber's mate!'"

Read Simon Callow's review of Bawdy But British!: The Life of Douglas Byng