Oh, I know...

Basil Fawlty: "Do you remember when we were first manacled together? We used to laugh quite a lot."

Sybil Fawlty: "Yes, but not at the same time, Basil."

'The fête itself, dear one,' said Elizabeth, 'is what I must speak about. I cannot possibly permit it to take place in my garden. The rag-tag and bob-tail of Tilling passing through my hall and my sweet little sitting-room and spending the afternoon in my garden! All my carpets soiled and my flower-beds trampled on! And how do I know that they will not steal upstairs and filch what they can find?'

'As long as I am tenant here,' said Lucia, 'I shall ask here whom I please, and when I please, and--and how I please. Or do you wish me to send you a list of the friends I ask to dinner for your sanction?'

RIP, Prunella Scales (22nd June 1932 - 27th October 2025). One of Britain's most wonderful and beloved actresses. We adored her.

Death's second self

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruin'd choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see'st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west,
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death's second self, that seals up all in rest.

- William Shakespeare, from Sonnet 73

It's all over for another year - British Summer Time is ended.

No light evenings until next March...

Sob.

The Queen of Salsa

We have another centenary to celebrate today!

From the Guardian:

[Celia] Cruz was perhaps the greatest Latin American icon of her era, dominating the Latin music charts, decorating her walls with gold records, three US Grammys and four Latin Grammys – alongside prizes from Billboard, the Smithsonian Institution and more – and receiving the keys to New York, Los Angeles, Miami and many other US cities. “I have lots of keys,” she later lamented, “but they don’t open any doors.”

They didn't need to - the great lady opened them herself!

As music producer Bruce McIntosh, whose label is releasing a series of reissues of music from her vast back catalogue says:

“Celia had been a star since the 50s, and she brought a bit of professionalism to [The Fania All Stars, the pioneers of the "salsa" sound].

She also brought a whole new demographic, broadening the scope. When she arrived, there were basically no other women singing salsa. After Celia, women were more drawn to it.”

Not one of them could even come close to the sublime talent of Celia Cruz, however! She was peerless:

Celia Cruz - Quimbara [100 Años de Azúcar]

All hail!

Úrsula Hilaria Celia de la Caridad Cruz Alfonso (21st October 1925 – 16th July 2003)

---

PS

We're off to the centenary Celebration of Celia Cruz at the wonderful Cadogan Hall tonight...

Actors are not made

"Actors are not made, they are born."

"Bringing humour and bringing happiness and joy to an audience is a wonderful opportunity in life, believe me."

It is the centenary today of one of our most-missed Patron Saints, Dame Angela Lansbury!

All hail.

By way of a little tribute, here she is at her most camp portraying one of our most favourite characters...

Death on the Nile - "The Salome Otterborn Tango"

...and again, but this time with an "old pal":

Angela Lansbury and Bea Arthur - Bosom Buddies

Lordy, how we miss her...

Another style icon passes

RIP, Diane Keaton (5th January 1946 – 11th October 2025)

A bit of sex every 25 pages?

“We all need the pipe dream of writing the great novel, or winning the pools, or becoming managing director and kicking all our colleagues in the teeth. The world is deep and dark and full of tigers, and we need those shimmering white castles in the air to creep into when life gets unbearable.”

“I know [my novels] are frivolous; imperfect. But people love them — you should see the letters I get! Maybe one day I will write something more serious, but I don’t want to come across like a ghastly actor who wants to play Hamlet. Basically my aim in life is to add to the sum of human happiness. My dear, is that pompous, hmmm? Darling, am I being boring?”

“There are a lot of lewd jokes and ribald remarks but there isn't that much sex. Everybody says, 'Do you put in a bit of sex every 25 pages?' and I say, 'No, it happens when it happens.'”

“Our house is so difficult to find that people always arrive late, which means that by the time we go into dinner, I've had so many dry Martinis I'm practically under the piano, and it no longer seems to matter that I haven't put the potatoes on.”

“I'm bored stiff by ballet. i can't bear those muscular white legs like unbaked plaited loaves, and I get quite hysterical every time one of the women sticks out her leg at right angles, and the man suddenly grabs it and walks round in a circle as though he were opening a tin.”

“I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.”

“The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.”

“People are going to be sent to prison for saying somebody’s common soon, aren’t they? Really. You can’t say anybody’s fat, you can’t say anybody’s anything, now. Not that one wants to say people are fat, but mind you, they are huge, aren’t they. Enormous. Enormous. I hate people being hurt. But nobody can say anything now. Anyway, enough of that. And all this [anti] wolf-whistling. I love being wolf-whistled at. I’m that generation. All contributions gratefully received.”

RIP, Dame Jilly Cooper, the creator of "the British bonk-buster".

So sad - she was lovely.

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn

One hundred years ago on Friday, a genius was born - that great man of letters, wit and raconteur Mr Gore Vidal.

Born into a socialite family, Gore Vidal was destined to mix in the most erudite of circles, his early relationships included Anais Nin, and he was good friends with the Kennedy family. His ground-breaking gay-themed novel The City and the Pillar caused controversy in late 1940s America, and his later Myra Breckenridge was made into a cult film starring Raquel Welch and Mae West.

His TV clash with right-wing writer William Buckley was notorious for its evident hatred between the debaters, and on Buckley's death Vidal said: "Hell is bound to be a livelier place, as he joins forever those whom he served in life, applauding their prejudices and fanning their hatred". Ouch!

Some more examples of this deadly waspish wit:

• A good deed never goes unpunished.
• A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
• After a certain point in life, litigation replaces sex.
• Andy Warhol is the only genius I've ever known with an I.Q. of 60.
• Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
• Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.
• As societies grow decadent, the language grows decadent, too. Words are used to disguise, not to illuminate, action: you liberate a city by destroying it. Words are to confuse, so that at election time people will solemnly vote against their own interests.
• By the time a man gets to be presidential material, he's been bought ten times over.
• Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.
• Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
• I don't want anything. I don't want a job. I don't want to be respectable. I don't want prizes. I turned down the National Institute of Arts and Letters when I was elected to it in 1976 on the grounds that I already belonged to the Diners Club.
• I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
• I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.
• It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
• Never have children, only grandchildren.
• Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.
• Sex is. There is nothing more to be done about it. Sex builds no roads, writes no novels and sex certainly gives no meaning to anything in life but itself.
• Some writers take to drink, others take to audiences.
• Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.
• The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
• Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either.
• We must declare ourselves, become known; allow the world to discover this subterranean life of ours which connects kings and farm boys, artists and clerks. Let them see that the important thing is not the object of love, but the emotion itself.
• What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?
• Write something, even if it's just a suicide note.

We adored him.

Gore Vidal (born Eugene Louis Vidal, 3rd October 1925 – 31st July 2012)

Acting is what I do

"I had that accent which prejudices people against you so instantly, or makes them respect you so falsely... I had a driving ambition to be an actress. Like so many actors, whatever their class or race, I kept feeling there must be something more. I had this urge to dig deeper."

"Acting is what I do with who I am."

"I've been taking lessons in Damehood from Judi Dench. Being a Dame is useful in restaurants, hotels, and restaurants, Judi says, but you have to get someone else to do the booking."

Many happy returns today to the marvellous Dame Harriet Walter, award-winning Shakespearean actress - her significant screen roles in the likes of Sense and Sensibility, Downton Abbey, Killing Eve, Poirot, The Crown, Midsomer Murders, Succession, and more recently she played Margaret Thatcher in Brian and Maggie - whose 75th birthday it is today!

All Hail.

Dame Harriet Mary Walter (born 24th September 1950)

The Duchess

RIP, Katharine Lucy Mary Worsley, Duchess of Kent (22nd February 1933 – 4th September 2025)

The jeweller of kings and the king of jewellers

Aquamarine Tiara, Cartier London, c1937

We went along to the V&A yesterday, to see the much-anticipated Cartier exhibition. A sumptuous feast for the senses - this was definitively the biggest collection we have ever seen of some of the world's most valuable and sought-after jewellery, and we were in awe.

Just a few of the priceless pieces we saw:

Above, left to right: the Patiala Necklace, featuring the 234.65 carat yellow DeBeers diamond, commissioned by the Maharaja of Patiala in 1925 - the largest ever single order Cartier has received to date (about £2 billion/$2.5 billion in today's money); diamond and 143.13 carat emerald necklace, made in 1932 and formerly owned by Beatrice, Countess of Granard; Duchess of Windsor Wallis Simpson's famous flamingo brooch - apparently she had several of her own pieces unmounted so that the stones could be re-used in this clip; the 57.31 carat "Star of the Golconda” necklace, commissioned by the Maharaja of Nawanagar.

[left to right, above]: The Manchester Tiara, 1903, commissioned by Consuelo, Dowager Duchess of Manchester - she supplied over a thousand brilliant-cut diamonds and more than 400 rose-cut diamonds for its construction; Dame Elizabeth Taylor's ruby and diamond "Red Fire" necklace, a gift from husband Mike Todd; the 61.50 carat "Eye of the Tiger" diamond turban aigrette, commissioned by the Maharaja of Nawanagar; the platinum and diamond Oriental Tiara, 1911, worn by Queen Elizabeth II.

One of the most breath-taking items (among miles and miles of breathtaking moments!) was this - a snake necklace, ordered by the extravagant Mexican actress María Félix n 1968. From the Cartier Collection catalogue:

"The ingenuity of the design makes it a unique piece in the history of jewellery. Thousands of hours of work and great expertise were put into making this 57-centimetre long reptile, with an entirely articulated structure paved with 2,473 diamonds. A jewellery piece that has since become emblematic."

It certainly was that!

HM The Queen Elizabeth’s 23.6 carat Williamson pink diamond brooch. Princess Anne's Pineflower tiara. Grace Kelly's diamond engagement ring from Prince Rainier of Monaco. Gloria Swanson's Art Deco bangles, as worn in Sunset Boulevard. Egyptian sarcophagus vanity cases. The Countess of Essex's 1902 tiara and choker worn by Rihanna for her 2016 W magazine photo-shoot. Items owned and worn by Elton John and Freddie Mercury. A whole gallery of Cartier's iconic watches. Another of their famous "mystery clocks". A whole room of just tiaras. Case upon case of sparkles of every hue...

...the sheer number of exhibits on offer meant that we spent several very rewarding hours studying it all - and I'd gladly go again tomorrow!

Cartier at the Victoria & Albert Museum (V&A) is on until 16 November 2025.

Sometimes being clothed is more sexy

"There's a scary moment when you realise you're no longer the youngest person in the room. Especially if you've been a successful young person. That's followed, of course, by the realisation that you're actually the oldest person in the room."

"I still have a Gypsy sense of adventure. I don't think I have slept in the same bed for more than three or four months my whole life. I am always planting vegetables that I never get to eat and flowers that I never see flower. I have always moved around the world."

"Two phrases I hate in reference to female characters are 'strong' and 'feisty.' They really annoy me. It's the most condescending thing. You say that about a three-year-old. It infantilises women."

"Sometimes nudity is sexy. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes being clothed is more sexy than being nude."

"I was never that kind of star. I was never cast because I was gorgeous."

"The trick in life is learning how to deal with it."

The utterly magnificent Dame Helen Mirren is 80 years old!

All hail.

Many happy returns, Ilyena Lydia Vasilievna Mironov (aka Helen Mirren, born 26th July 1945)

You decide what's right, you decide what's good

Another sparkling diamond in the vocal world has "booped" her last "doop" and departed for Fabulon, to join the pantheon of jazz greats - Dame Cleo Laine!

Famed for her long, long professional as well as personal relationship with husband Johnny Dankworth as much as for her singing, together they carved out a niche for themselves in the oft-fractious world of post-war British jazz, she with her remarkable multi-octave voice and he with his musical talent and business savvy. She successfully straddled classical and pop cross-overs, as well as the scat-jazz vocalese for which she was famed, made numerous guest appearances on TV over the years [indeed, on hearing of her death today in the office I reminisced that she was probably the first prominent black person I remember seeing on telly apart from on children's programmes like Play School], became successful Stateside, and together in 1970 the couple founded the Stables Theatre at the back of their family home near Milton Keynes in Buckinghamshire, which has helped develop the careers of many generations of performers.

By way of a fitting tribute - and a prime example of why we adored her so much - here is a selection of the divine Miss Laine's interpretations of the work of house fave Mr Stephen Sondheim:

Cleo Laine - No One Is Alone

Cleo Laine - Losing My Mind

Cleo Laine - Anyone Can Whistle

Cleo Laine - Everybody Says Don't

Cleo Laine - I Remember

Cleo Laine - Liaisons

Cleo Laine - Send In The Clowns

Cleo Laine - Not While I'm Around

RIP, Dame Cleo Laine, Lady Dankworth DBE (born Clementine Dinah Hitching, 28th October 1927 - 24th July 2025)

And finally... What on earth?

Eartha Kitt, Phyllis Diller and Cleo Laine playing cricket!

Always, always coiffed and dressed

[The late, much missed Miss Diahann Carroll would have been 90 years old this week. By way of a tribute, I'm reposting this from when she departed for Fabulon six years ago.]

"If you're not invited to the party, throw your own."

"For each and every performance, I was always on time, always prepared, and always, always coiffed and dressed."

“You cannot be a legitimate nightclub performer, as far as I’m concerned, in sensible shoes. To me, high heels have always been symbols of sensuality... I like the way I feel in them. And when you become a senior citizen, there’s great pleasure to be had in the fact that even when the tummy isn’t as taut as it used to be, the legs are still shapely and slender. They really are the last things to go, you know.”

"I like to think I opened doors for other women, although that wasn't my original intention."

"All I ever wanted to do was sing. What happened was more."

Diahann Carroll (born Carol Diahann Johnson, 17th July 1935 – 4th October 2019)

An inspiration.