Shopping and fucking

And the subject of today's sermon is “gay identity”. For what profit a man if he loves another man, but has no sense of identity? Without identity his love is like a pink balloon or a whistle blowing in the wind – full of air, signifying nothing. If a gay man has love, but no identity, then he can never truly enter the kingdom of gay goodness and everlasting pride. Or to put it another way, keeping faith in the redemptive power of identity is what being gay is all about. Of course, it wasn't always thus. In the years BP (Before Pride), there were no such things as gays, only homosexuals. And what's worse, identity wasn't really something that people thought about very much. In those dark times, homosexuals were truly lost in the wilderness – a disparate group of individuals, spread out all across the globe (but mostly in America), each pursuing his own interests and never sparing a thought for the plight of his fellow homosexuals, or even liking them very much. Then lo, it came to pass that the wise queens at the Stonewall Inn did take exception to the police pushing them around and did fight back against their oppressors. And for five long days and nights they fought, with tooth and nail and six-inch heels. And through their good fight, the modern gay rights movement was born and identity forged.

And the forefathers of the gay movement looked on and saw that it was good. And the gay merchants looked on and saw that it was a good way to make money without a great deal of investment, and so everybody was happy. And so it continued for many years, until the day came when the youngsters of their tribe did start to question the wisdom of their elders, and ask if this thing called gay identity wasn't just a little bit restrictive, and did it come in a different size? And the elders were sore afraid and said, “Who has put these words into your mouth? Surely it is the work of the devil, for only one possessed by the devil could question the goodness of such a holy thing. For a man can say that there is no one gay identity but many gay identities. But he can never, ever say that gay is not good. Goodness and mercy shall follow the children of Stonewall always. For thus is was written, and must remain for ever and ever, amen.” And the youngsters listened carefully to the words of the elders. And when they had finished listening they turned to one another and said, “Fuck that, we're going shopping.”

Author unknown

Happy Gay Pride week!