Sunday, 15 November 2015

The House of Cyn no more

"I know [sex] does make people happy but to me it's just like having a cup of tea."

"I suppose some people would find me shocking in a way. I used to like shocking people when I was a kid. I used to pull my knickers down in the garden and show the neighbours my bum or dance on the shed naked. And it did shock them."

"My biographer said that my parties reminded them of a vicarage tea party, with sex thrown in."

"It's been a rollercoaster life but it hasn't been boring."

The notorious brothel madam Cynthia Payne aka "Madame Cyn" - immortalised twice on screen: by Emily Loyd in Wish You Were Here; and in one of our all-time favourite films here at Dolores Delargo Towers, Personal Services starring Julie Walters - has died. Shares in luncheon vouchers have plummeted...

Miss Payne's excellent modern competitor for Debrett's, Entertaining at Home has been of invaluable help over the years, with its tips on "Understanding Your Slave", "The Live Lesbian Show", "Upon Discovering a Secret Double Mirror in the Bedroom", "Is Three A Crowd?", "The Spanking Party" and "Raid Etiquette for Policemen" among many other things a busy hostess might have otherwise neglected. It has pride of place on our shelf.

RIP Cynthia Payne (24th December 1932 – 15th November 2015)


  1. "I know [sex] does make people happy but to me it's just like having a cup of tea." I know just how she feels.

  2. Why did I assume the top picture was Mrs Thatcher?

    1. I can't imagine Mrs T saying: "The trouble with men is that for a woman to have a civilised conversation with them they need de-spunking first."

      Or can I? Jx

  3. You must own some terrifying porn

    1. Our collection, I can assure you, has neither lady in it. Indeed, none at all. Jx


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