Saturday, 7 April 2018

On the Jukebox this Weekend at Dolores Delargo Towers


  1. cover #1 - looks like samson & delilah

    #2 - no thanks, I won't come closer, you two are scary-looking

    #3 - I don't want those hags within 1 inch of my head!

    #4 - philadelphia mummers!

    #5 - kitty wells, a name I recognize. this is her famous song from 1952:

    #6 - alvino rey & his rhythm reys, another oldie but goody from the 50s

    1. No wonder there was dust on Kitty's bible (and dust everywhere else I'd imagine) if she sang crap like that. It was a HIT??! Dreadful. Jx

  2. How good a Christian can that bitch be if she has dust on her bible? Or she is referring to a euphuism for her cootchie?

    And I love that that guy calls the goods between his legs a a Singing Swinging Banjo. I would probably like to see it.

    1. His - ahem - banjo might take a bit of unwrapping, in that outfit... Jx

  3. I will explain the message and content of these fascinating musical selections for the audience:

    I love the cover art of "Le Sacre Du Printemps"! So freeing! Love that tit shot. We need more liberated tits! Set yourself free! Let it all hang out!

    "Come Closer to Me" is the Spanish version of The Graduate (1967). And this Señora is teaching this muchacho how to be an expert, cunning linguist!

    "Beauty Shop Beat". Clearly, the Clark Sisters have breathed too much hairspray fumes, leading to irreparable brain damage and an addiction to nail polish remover.

    "My Reverie" is also no stranger to huffing and getting high. Remember, recreational drugs are for recreational uses only. Don't be an addict. Nobody likes a crack head. They steal things from you.

  4. "Dust on the Bible": The Kitty Wells method for achieving sexual satisfaction in older Christian couples.

    1. Dust on the Bible: A dusty book is uninviting. Nobody wants to finger through a moldy, dusty book. So clean and polish that vagina to make it look attractive and inviting. So trim, pluck, shave, and beautify. All that hard work will pay off when your man notices the new, refreshed you.

    2. The Great Speckled Bird: Once you've set up a pleasant nest, your husband's penis, old and spotted the pecker may be, will be attracted to explore your newly remodeled nest.

    3. He Will Set Your Fields on Fire: Use lubrication! Older vaginas don't produce as much natural fluids as in younger days. A proper lubricant is essential to creating a good coitus experience.

    4. Mathew Twenty Four: Describes the Destruction of the Temple. Be glad you used lube, because your man is about to wreck your temple walls with all that banging!

    5. Lord, I'm Coming Home: Ride that orgasm! You've earned it!

    1. The Kitty Wells sex tape is yet to be revealed... Jx

  5. "The Singing Swinging Banjo". What a Bon Viviant! So Festive! I shall interpret his fun, frolicking songs for y'all:

    1. Buffalo Gal: He likes a girl with an all natural bush. Don't trim those hedges, ladies! This gardener likes things very organic!

    2. In Old Virginny: He likes banging older women, too. Wrinkles and turkey neck waddles turn him on! He finds the scent of Ben Gay most alluring on a woman!

    3. Yankee Doodle Dandy: He also swings the other way and likes his men cultured and is addicted to male dancers (ballet, tap, pole, etc.)

    4. Oh, Susanna: Inspired by his best friend/fag hag/fruit fly.

    5. Grand Old Flag: That is a typo. It should be Grand Old Fag, an anthem celebrating old queens and pioneering gays.

    6. Rings On Her Fingers: A public service reminder to wash your hands after inserting it up orifices, especially if you're not sure if that orifice has been properly prepared. Hand washing prevents the spread of germs!

    7. Dixie: A song celebrating his penchant for rural Southern men with slow Southern drawls, polite and courteous gentlemen in public but filthy, nasty, animals who enjoy banging in all positions deemed illegal in all Southern states and ruled immoral and sinful by the Pope.

    8. Saints Come Marching In: An ode to the busy bathhouses of New Orleans, where everyone gets filthy and dirty. Nobody ever leaves clean in the Big Easy. The name says it all. This city of full of whores.

    9. Shine On Harvest Moon: He likes big butts and he cannot lie.

    10. Clementine: An ode to a lost cowboy lover. They were sheep ranchers in their younger days on the range at Brokeback Mountain.

    1. I hooted at "Grand Old Fag"..! You are inspired, my dear. Jx

  6. I am sorry but I shall not be making any effort to add these to the collection.

    Still trying to recover from Alvino Rey & His Orchestra doing in the "William Tell Overture"


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